Saturday, February 28, 2009

do you smoke weed?

Well I've been in Oregon now for six months. It only took about 12 hours of being in oregon for the first person to ask me if i smoked weed. Odd, i thought, but odd things happen every once in a while. But it only took another hour before another person asked. and another. then another. Until one tall 40 something year old man actually came to me offering me what he called "the good oregon stuff, not that Mexican shit you get over there in Ohio." Very odd i thought.

Over the past six months then i have never had so many people ask me if i smoke weed. And when i say they ask me if i smoke weed, it is just as startling as it sounds. Out of nowhere. Heres the problem. NO ONE believes me when i say i dont. NO ONE. they say, "Oh right, you just happen to drive a VW van, have a big scruffy beard, and just happen to be pretty chilled all the time."

Im reminded of my high school days. Quite frequently I was sent to the drug and alcohol counselor. They would ask me questions like, "why are your eyes so glossy?" That to me sounded more like a question for an optometrist, but ok. "Why did you paint your finger nails?" "why are those pants so baggy?" "Why did you cut your hair like that?" and other questions like this. to which the only possible answer of course that i smoked weed.

Well for all you high school drug counselors, and all of you Oregonians (Pronounced org-own-e-ns) I would like to tell you once and for all. I dont smoke. Even if i wanted to i have asthma! And here's even more....shh dont tell anyone...I never have. So there ya go. Yes I just happen to drive a VW Van, hold up two fingers and say "peace," have a scurrfy beard, eat organic, have kids running around barefoot, and have a sticker on my than that says, "Biodiesel: no war required." And yeah, im normally pretty chilled out.

Peace man.


  1. PS- Were you stoned when you wrote this?

  2. HAHAHAHAHA. matt's comment made me "LoL"...brandon i think it would be rather impossible for you to convince anyone that you don't and have never smoked...but i think if you did start smoking pot you would most likely shave and put on a suit and start trading stocks.

  3. I believe you Brandon. But only because I know the ignorance of humans. People ask me quite frequently if I am African American. (Well, white people ask me if I'm African American and black people ask if I'm mix). Ummmm.....huh?